Dear 14 year old me

Dear 14 year old Cynta,

This is your 26 years and 4 months old self writing. I found one of the diary entry you wrote back in 1996 and I couldn't agree more that life was tough back then. Rest assured that now you are an English teacher with a 2Kplus salary. You might be saying "BUT WE HAD A PLAN!!!" I know you wanted to be a fashion designer because you think it's cool but I think you'll find teaching the language that you love so much is our true calling. I can't help but smile remembering your attempts of saving just to get that new Fear Street book or that Quicksilver wallet you've been eyeing for months. I just want to let you know that now we could afford those things. Yeay!

You were such an ugly "darkling" back then. I kid..I kid...:-P. Well, to make you feel better, after 12 years our skin is still flawless with that occasional hormonal pimples. Hehe. But I just want to ask forgiveness for one thing that I couldn't maintain - our weight. I can't promise you that I will lose those stubborn bulges and the "pouch" we're born with, but I am eating healthy and I went for exercise by dancing like crazy to "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy". I remembered when you avoided rice and "dieted" just because you wanted "A" to like you. You know what, he ain't worth it honey..if only you could see him now hehehe...I learned from your experience that it is better to be true to yourself. Speaking of love, I know this is the year you met "LM". I regret to tell you that it didn't really work out with him despite being in a relationship for 6 years. But, it's okay...great guys from all shapes and sizes and attitudes come and go. Love comes in ways and places unexpected, so our experiences tell us.

You also have confidence issues that year and I remembered you were bullied because of your outlook. It was a difficult time, I remembered you crying in your room, feeling so isolated. It does haunt me sometimes, but I remembered your strength, your persistence, your attitude that very day, you stood up for yourself...thanks for rising from the ashes. You've built a solid foundation of confidence that day and because of that, I am what I am today.

So far, life in the late twenties is good. Thanks for reminding me that despite wishing I was ten years younger, my life NOW is better. By the way, our fears of becoming naggy like Mum is kinda materialising. But don't get me wrong! I know it's in our genes but that's just how we express our love and care for others...by nagging them! Haha. Okay...okay...I'll chill out the next time!

Last but not least, don't worry a lot about the future. Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be my dear. So far, we came out Okay...not perfect as we wanted to be, but you'll have a generous share of blessings and good luck.

Thanks for being strong, kiddo...


Love,

26 years and 4 months old Jacinta.