Shoulder Guy.

Warning : Might induce puke mechanism or secret smiles. 

Results vary according to individuals. You have been warned.

This is a response from my previous post. I've been getting a lot of press regarding this matter (why am I suddenly talking matter-of-factly...anyways..) and there was a lot of anonymous CyntaSez readers (whom I knew but wishes to remain anonymous konon hahaha) got intrigued by this mysterious Shoulder Guy. Who is he? Do we know him? Si anu kah ni?

Well, since being secretive is part of my zodiac characteristics...

I won't expose his name but we met in the year 2000 where things were carefree and he was not even attractive. 

Why I like him (sans shoulder-related) and don't dare to tell him my lovey feelings for him?

Reason #1 : He is one of my closest friend. I confide to him everything and until now, he remains as one of my loyal friends. If he is a girl, he's definitely going to be one of my bridesmaids. Unlike other male friends who claimed to be besties with me (a frenemy in disguise), he's there for most of the time.

I remember one night when I was home alone, lonely and scared and I couldn't get any of my GGs on the phone (GGs, it was coincidental that you all were busy at that time), I gave him a call. He was about to watch a movie that he had waited the whole day to finish downloading and suddenly there was I, as guntalau as a coward (sama la tu kan..hahaha), asking for his company on the phone until my dad or elder bro gets home. We chatted for almost an hour and a half, and we talked about work, unrelated things, etc. He accompanied me until my elder bro got home and only after I "yeay-ed" (cos finally ada kawan di rumah), baru he said "Yeay! bulih suda sia sambung movie sia.." Dei. 

And one time, when I was accompanying my sick friend to a clinic at LD and I got bored (it was almost midnight) and I texted him. Dia juga yang kasi kawan sia until my friend abis kena check. All in all, he was there almost most of the time. He also pernah run to the boot of his car during a downpour to get an umbrella for me (because I was so damn hungry and the rain was so unforgiving). And of course, being a considerate friend, I tried holding the umbrella, but alas, he did it. I find that sweet and that became favourite memory. :-)

Reason #2 : On his left, he kinda looks like Rob Pattinson...ehehe. Muhau.

Reason #3: For unexplanable reasons, I love him just the way he is...warts and all. Oh, there's one time he really triggered my angry buttons and I told him I won't bother him again. I told him he doesn't have to be sarcastic to me.

He apologised. He admitted his mistakes when it was mine to begin with. I had experiences with many guy friends; we fought. Of course, I always got my way...but these guys will always justify their actions and why they won't apologise. Some even say they are the noble ones to ask for forgiveness when it was my fault. But not Mr Shoulders.

Well, Mr Shoulders has his own limitation too. He's moody to begin with. At one time, he'll shower you flowers and the next thing, he'll be quiet and during solitary confinement, I will be given the cold shoulder. My questions will be answered with one-lettered word e.g. K and "Oh". He also made me angry by sending to one of my GGs one angry email about the current political situation in our country. So far, I'm still angry at him for doing that but since he and GG is kinda close, so I guess I can't stay angry at him forever. If GG forgives, then I'll do the same.

So, that's half the story of Shoulder Guy. I don't know whether we'll drift away or become closer...I could only wish the best.

It's about his shoulders...

Okay, something personal from me. Well, I was going to post about a very arrogant speaker but I guess negativity and sarcasm are energy suckers, so let's talk about mushy, cheesy, lovey-dovey stuffs instead.

I have a crush on a friend of mine since we were in college several years back. The crush is growing strong everyday but I don't really have the guts to throw my emotions at him. He might run away and well, you know how it will go on.

So, one day, we went out for a drink and he mentioned about his best friend getting married in a forthnight. He was supposed to be the best man, but since there was a work commitment going on that time, he had to decline. I told him he should be his best friend's best man (well, after all he IS his best friend) but he said he can't. There are other guys more suitable, he said.

So I said, "Ngam la bah tu...ko kan nda sehensem dia, so you won't distract any girls on his special day." 

Dia pun terdiam.

He can't even touch his food.

Oooppssss.

Me and my loud mouth.

Then I said...

"Well, you are not as handsome as he is but you do have strong shoulders. Good, strong ones to lean on (for me). You look so macho bah with that pair of shoulders."

Baru si kawan tersenyum. Dei.

Well, he does have a good, strong shoulders.

If I have a problem, I could lean on him.

If I cry, I could cry on his shoulders.

His shoulders could support me when I'm feeling down.

When we see a beautiful sunset or sunrise, I could put my head on his shoulder and steal a gaze at his eyes.

Smoldering eyes are so ordinary,

To praise his kiss can be so cliched,

To say he has big hands...okayyyyyy.....

But I think I was attracted by his shoulders.

Weird kan saya?

But anyways, he does not and will never know about how I am captivated by his shoulders.

Wish I can put my head on his shoulders...haha.

Preparing My Christmas List

I am in the spirit of Christmas!! I know it is still early for me to prepare the list but I have a resolution to make this year. This year, I promise to give all my love ones gifts that they really wanted instead of the normal gift voucher for mum and dad and socks for my brothers (yeah, I know...it was Hush Puppies). I also want to give my GGs some great loving this year for being great friends. So, starting this month I really have to save so that this resolution may come into reality.

To get me into the mood, I think I'll start with what I want for Christmas :

1. Nikon D3000 DSLR

2. Paolo Coelho novels that I haven't got


3. Lee Dong Wook ( I can't resist hahaha)

4. The complete DVD of My Lovely Sam Soon

I guess that's for me ;-)

For Mum, she's been hinting on that new stove we saw at Karamunsing...I'll go and check again next month.

For Dad...hmm...I can't find any ideas so far. Ties and shirts are out!! Holiday package? I'll browse for Dad-worthy gifts.

For my brothers, I have to keep it a secret first hehehe

For GGs...also secret....

For friends...also secret...

For that special someone...he better consider my dowry if I get him the tech toy he really wanted...

Wow, I CANT WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS!!! WooTTTT WOooOOTTT!!!

Shallowness.

I was chatting with one of my GGs (refer post Escapades #2) last night when she told me what happened to her and her college friends at a trendy cafe in CityMall, KK. Her story prompted me to blog about her endeavours and perhaps share a piece of my mind of the person behind her story. So here goes:

GG was happily having a tea break with two classmates at the cafe when the waiter came and asked for their orders. The said waiter then, after taking their order, wrote on the order sheet and place the paper at its proper place.

GG and friends then enjoyed their drink.

Then time passed and it's time to pay.

GG's friend looked at the paper and was pissed off with what the waiter had written on the No.of Pax column :
"2 gummuk, 1 cewek"

GG, being the cool woman, then told the friends to walk out of the cafe.

Walking out they did.

I kept on wondering whether the manager trained his or her employees to jot the number of people based on their physical appearance. It saves a lot of ink and time to write "3" instead of "2 gummuk, 1 cewek". Alas, why am I worried? The spelling of "gemuk" or fat in the order sheet reflects the mental (and emotional or sensitivity) capacity of the waiter. I blog about this because I just can't see the reason of prejudice against voluptious people. The waiter messed with my GG, he messes with me who happens to be endowed with extra kilos on my hips and thighs.

So to all of you who thinks that fat people do not have feelings, please do yourselves a favour. Lock yourself in your house and don't come out cos you've committed a hideous social faux pas. Make that an Unforgivable social faux pas.

To all of you voluptous people (or you who thinks your body sucks), if ever you find shallow and annoying people like the waiter who thinks that being thin and sexy are the ultimate face of beauty...

WALK OUT and BE PROUD.

Hold this mantra (the person who coined this is a sheer genius) :
"Yes, I'm fat but you're ugly and I can diet (and exercise)"

Big Girls..You are beautiful.

Escapades Resolution #2.

Spend time with your best friends.
To us, ladies...
Male Best Friends are hip, and a boyfriend is a bonus
but
GREAT GIRLFRIENDS
are
FOR EVER.

MBFs can boost your ego and increase your know-hows about the opposite sex,
The Boyfriend can be everything you want a man to be but
GGs are your compulsory support system. GGs provide you with the shoulder to cry on,
the ears that listen, hearts that emphatise, laughter that can make your day and even nonjudgmental remarks that helps you be the best person you can be.

So...

Love, Cherish and Care Your Great Girlfriends.

A Reflection on Friendship

Lately I have been surrounded by the blues in friendship.

Well, I don't know if it's just me or is the universe trying to tell me something?

Have I been a good friend myself?

I think I am loyal when it comes to friendship. I can be completely generous and caring with my friends, sometimes even more than my own relatives. But lately I felt as if my energy and resources have been sucked out by some of these "friendnemies". I thought I have learned my lessons, I wondered why I kept on forgetting the faults that these "friendnemies" had done to me? I'm sure I have given all my best because I know, once you are my friend, I am loyal all over.

Perhaps now the fault is on me.

I have been totally too loyal and too trusting.

I guess everyone had to face the music.

Well, I'm still going to be a good and loyal friend. But this time, I'm going to trust that tingling feeling down my gut.

I have to swallow the bitter truth :
True friends are hard to find in this material world.

Escapades Resolution #1

Enjoy your own company with a favourite book. Drink cold juice underneath the shade. Operational keyword: Just Chill.

An adolescent reflection

I felt obliged to share this though I don't know the reason why. Maybe I was touched by this student's writing and the message that she wanted to convey. In my Form 2 English classes, I asked my students to prepare an exercise book as a journal or for creative writing exercises. So, last week I told them to write about "If I were..." This student wrote about her being a "witch" who possesses magical powers. Here's her journal piece (please don't mind the grammatical errors, after all I told them I will not grade them for grammar mistakes in their journal) :

"If I were a witch, I will stop this world then people can't see me but not for forever just for three days I think that's is enough. And I will fly at the sky alone, Beside that I hope I will make all the things in this world become cheap then there's nothing different between rich or poor people. And I hope I can give the life for the people who have passed away, I know I can't do it because I am not a god there's just my dream. And it will be really great if I will change all of the boys and girls become handsome and pretty then nothing (no one) can cry because they were not pretty, handsome or anything then make all the person in this world become good. But one important thing I want to make my mother happy".

What I learned from this girl is that her father had passed away last year. She is a quiet one. I find her writing rather poignant as it shows maturity beyond her years. Perhaps, in this journal piece she is trying to tell me that although her appearance shows a normal student who has a normal, typical life there are some hurts and insecurities lurking beneath.

At first, I was at lost for words or comments. What should I say? Alas, I wrote under the last paragraph:

You are a girl with a big heart and I think if you ever have magical powers, I'm sure the world would appreciate the beautiful and magical things you've done. An excellent journal entry.

Dear 14 year old me

Dear 14 year old Cynta,

This is your 26 years and 4 months old self writing. I found one of the diary entry you wrote back in 1996 and I couldn't agree more that life was tough back then. Rest assured that now you are an English teacher with a 2Kplus salary. You might be saying "BUT WE HAD A PLAN!!!" I know you wanted to be a fashion designer because you think it's cool but I think you'll find teaching the language that you love so much is our true calling. I can't help but smile remembering your attempts of saving just to get that new Fear Street book or that Quicksilver wallet you've been eyeing for months. I just want to let you know that now we could afford those things. Yeay!

You were such an ugly "darkling" back then. I kid..I kid...:-P. Well, to make you feel better, after 12 years our skin is still flawless with that occasional hormonal pimples. Hehe. But I just want to ask forgiveness for one thing that I couldn't maintain - our weight. I can't promise you that I will lose those stubborn bulges and the "pouch" we're born with, but I am eating healthy and I went for exercise by dancing like crazy to "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy". I remembered when you avoided rice and "dieted" just because you wanted "A" to like you. You know what, he ain't worth it honey..if only you could see him now hehehe...I learned from your experience that it is better to be true to yourself. Speaking of love, I know this is the year you met "LM". I regret to tell you that it didn't really work out with him despite being in a relationship for 6 years. But, it's okay...great guys from all shapes and sizes and attitudes come and go. Love comes in ways and places unexpected, so our experiences tell us.

You also have confidence issues that year and I remembered you were bullied because of your outlook. It was a difficult time, I remembered you crying in your room, feeling so isolated. It does haunt me sometimes, but I remembered your strength, your persistence, your attitude that very day, you stood up for yourself...thanks for rising from the ashes. You've built a solid foundation of confidence that day and because of that, I am what I am today.

So far, life in the late twenties is good. Thanks for reminding me that despite wishing I was ten years younger, my life NOW is better. By the way, our fears of becoming naggy like Mum is kinda materialising. But don't get me wrong! I know it's in our genes but that's just how we express our love and care for others...by nagging them! Haha. Okay...okay...I'll chill out the next time!

Last but not least, don't worry a lot about the future. Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be my dear. So far, we came out Okay...not perfect as we wanted to be, but you'll have a generous share of blessings and good luck.

Thanks for being strong, kiddo...


Love,

26 years and 4 months old Jacinta.

BK hits Putatan!

My fave fast food joint has come to my hometown! Woot! Though d burgers were tad small, the manager is yummylicious (i didn't have him for dinner though :-P ). Oh, they're having promotion during lunch hour..if u buy any value meal u'll get a 50% discount. So, if u were at BK putatan buy me d mushroom cheese. By d way, am blogging from GSC KK. Going 2 catch up with movies before going back to cinemaless LD B-)

Me and Aedy

My Drawing

I hope this cheers Aedy up ;-D

The view at Lahad Datu Hosp

This pic was taken from aedy's new room

Brief Immortality

I found this drawing of me on one of my student's English subject file. I think it's so cute..the drawing kind of look like me and even resembles d way i carry my handbag haha..

Teacher = Superheroes

I often wonder how did my former teachers managed to teach and educate us and mold us to become the person that we are today. They sound like superhumans...Superman and Superwoman in their own right.

Being a teacher myself I just can't help but think of where I could get superpowers like my educators cum mentors. So one day, I stumbled upon this song by Five for Fighting entitled Superman. As I listened, I noticed that the song spoke to me...

Yes, we teachers are human after all, but super to our students.
I just hope that in a miniscule way, I might have inspired at least one of my students.

Let's sing this song together, all you Superheroes regardless of careers.

You are a hero to someone.

Which Celebrity I am Crushing?

Owhhhh c'monnnnnn....like you never had a celebrity crush whom you could oogle for days and just can't wait to go to sleep just to dream about them holding your hand, kissing your cheeks and perhaps more..haha...I can see you blushing..hehe...

If for one day (why does it have to be a day, not a month or a year or forever?) I can wake up next to my celebrity partner/husband/soulmate/anything in between, now who would it be? Well, since I am such a glutton, let me just "divide" my daydream to two halves; a local celeb and an international celeb. Hmmm...two is not enough...let's throw in a Korean hottie (I just can't put him to any categories cos he and his counterparts are in a class of their own..pure hotness!).

Okayyyyyy...here goes celebrity numero uno..*closing my eyes* 3..2..1...GO!!
(by the way, this is my local celeb daydream)
Henry "Hotstuff" Golding...*drools* a bit young tho' but who cares about age and stuffs, huh? The age factor is getting so old! If he is my boyfriend, I would bring him to the pasar malam just to show him off ngehehehehehehehehehe...

Okay, next celeb hottie is....closing my eyes...3,2....1!!
JIM CAVIEZEL!!!! I could just stare at his eyes all day...*melts*...and bring him to Servay Putatan just to show him off...hohohohoho...and imagine the long walks we'll take, the intimate discussion about life, love, etc...*exhaleeeeeeeeee*

Okay, moving on...

My Korean celeb crush is....
Lee Dong Wook...wah, cairrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Kamu tingu la muka malu-malu dia hehehehe cuteeeeee kan????

Yang ini di mana saja sia pigi, disitu ada beliau hehehe...digapit dan digapus 24 jam!!! LOL!!

hehehe...now I'm roaring to finish up my tasks...see ya!!

anything goes

I've been busy lately and thus the temporary abandonment of my blog. Been sick for some time and thank God, it's not the dreaded virus. Just a bout of work-related stress sickness. So today I am going to write whatever is in my mind as long as it's...hehe...I don't know. Now, some may think that I am on a high on cough syrup (seriously, it does make me kind of woozieee...and sleepy....and happy....) but who cares, I am going to nurture my writing talent and my bloggie.

There's a lot of changes in my life lately, I noticed that my students are beginning to miss their ol'jolly teacher...I wonder whether it's just hallucination or a surreal reality. When a Form One kid who always pester me met me at the staff room and asked where I've been, I just told him "Cikgu sibuk." When asked why he was nosing about my whereabout, his answer was "Tiadalah...Saya rindu sama cikgu". Hmmm...maybe I watched too much Hallmark.

Okay...I think that's my ramblings for today. Tomorrow's Monday and I wanted to savour Sunday till it's last minutes.

~~Terrah!!

I am inspired!!

I'm writing a song...it's been ringing and singing in my head...

it won't stop!!!!!!

My First Sports Day

This is a year of "firsts" I think.
So, finally I got a taste of School Sports Day as the professional benchwarmer.

Not.

After four hot and rainy days, I'm officially sun-burnt and I can see myself as a sephia zebra cos I got a lot of stripes. Note to self: Invest in a good sunscreen...again.

Here are some pics taken during that day, and let them tell you the story...

My job was to manage the "kontinjen kawad". Man, it was so difficult just to get the kids to queue up.

Finally...berbaris juga kamu sanaaaa padang!!


Here's the teacher advisors and some students for our team - Team Kelisa! FYI only our team has matching t-shirts...woot woot!!

My teacher friends and I pun kena suru berbaris ikut budak...tiapalah hehehe

Run, Kelisa, RUN!!!!!

Here's some of the students...duduk2 tepi padang...

That's all I could capture...my digicam went out of batt the moment our team were crowned CHAMPIONS!!!!

WooTWoooTTT!!!

I say the darnest things...

Today is the day where I will be meeting my "children's" parents or guardian.
I never liked this part of my job - the part where I have to tell them that their child needs "special attention" and "behaviour adjustments" as well as "anger management".

I am lucky that the parents are mostly supportive and they never sided their children, knowing that bringing them up in school is my part and they will continue the education at home. I was quite nervous to begin with, I had been practising at home with these lines, "Kak/ Encik...anak Encik ni kira okay dari segi...bla..bla...bla..." and hoping that whatever comes out of my mouth will not offend their feelings nor intrude with their parental role. But there are times where my mouth and my frank nature came out and I do admit made me a fool out of myself. Take scenario A for example :

A's Mother : Anak sia ni cigu memang nakal bah...selalu juga sia marah dia ni...suka dia lumpat-lumpat di sana sini kalau di rumah, sama juga dia di sekolah...

Me : Ya, kak...kalau nyawa dia ni bulih beli sana kadai dua ringgit nda apa juga kan?

Here's Scenario B:

B's Father : Kalau dia nakal ni cigu, kasi tau seja sia terus tarang!

Me : Ya, memang dia nakal.

B's Father : Mimaaaaangggggg bah dia ni! Ingat bershuffle ja...ko tingu la baju dia tu. Baju bershuffle dia pakai. Tapi pelajaran dia tidak ingat.

Me : Ingat ah, B...dalam PMR tiada subjek Kemahiran Bershuffle. Kita ada Kemahiran Hidup saja.

To be frank, what should I say to their parents?